The Division of Land

So many times it's really hard to see where God is taking me. For the Israelites to have reached this point, where the land is being divided amongst the tribes, they had to go through so much pain and suffering that established a somewhat love-hate relationship with God. It all began when God first told Abraham of what is to come. And that was generations before.

I feel so blinded by my own selfishness. There's so much I need to lay down before God, and I want to be able to see what Abraham saw, and what God can see from me. The Israelites lost the vision that was initially planted by Moses, and took some wrong turns in pursuit of instant gratification. I want to make a commitment... that now is the time to come in repentance, and worship God with my life. It doesn't matter whether this commitment will last an hour, half a day, or a week - because faith is the condition of my heart at the present moment, and God honors that.

Death of 24000

God is a jealous God; we always knew that, but the number of deaths due to the disobeying Israelites is kind of like a "wake-up alarm." Certainly these things don't happen these days; we do not see God smack down a nation with plagues and killing them for bowing down and worshiping idols (or perhaps we do...), but one thing I do see and feel is that the American religion (American Christianity) has numbed most of us, made us feel less sensitive as we simply watch images and images of starvation, people under tyranny and persecution, and grown accustomed to our "comfortable" lives here (sometimes we think the life we have here is just as hard in many different ways, and while certainly true, most of us do have a shelter and clothes and food but most of all the freedom to worship).

But loving God and leading a Christian life is a serious matter. So serious that back in the days, turning away from God and worshiping idols meant death in many ways. And yet, we must search our hearts and confess that we may have other forms of idols in our lives, that we must once again turn our eyes from worldly things and needs, and focus on God.

Most of us do not worship another "god", but we do follow hard after money, care very much for our family and friends, and our work/school grades. Certainly these are God-given blessings and responsibilities that we must be responsible for, but I think we must continuously check our hearts to make sure we are not idolizing any of them... and always give the best to God.

하나님의 완전한 계획

우리는 날마다 계획을 세우고 살아갑니다. 그러나 우리가 세운 계획이 모두다 실현되기란 생각만큼 쉽지가 않습니다. 하지만 하나님의 계획은 완전하십니다. 그분의 계획은 그분의 약속은 단 한번도 실패하거나 깨어진적이 없습니다. 하나님께서 계획하지 않으신 일은 결코 이루어지지 않습니다.

발락은 하나님이 택하신 이스라엘 백성을 저주 하려고 몇번이나 시도를 하지만 그일은 결국 수포로 돌아갑니다. 그가 그렇게 열심히 노력(?)을 했음에도 불구하고 그의 계획이 실현될수가 없었던 이유는 바로 하나님이 원치 않으셨기 때문입니다. 하나님의 계획과 달랐기 때문입니다.

종종 저희는 우리의 계획이 실현되지 않는다고 절망하거나 슬퍼합니다. 그러나 우리가 염려하지 말아야 할것은, 우리 모두는 하나님의 계획안의 일부라는 것입니다. 하나님께서 이스라엘을 택한것 같이 우리를 택하셨음으로 하나님의 자녀인 우리는 하나님의 말씀에 순종하고 살아야 합니다. 하나님의 뜻을 거역하려는 발락의 모습이 아닌 하나님의 뜻을 따르는 삶을 살아야 하길 원합니다.

A Change of Heart.. and Keeping it that way..

First of all.. I think it is really funny that Balak keeps trying to get Balaam to do things but the seer is just not doing it! It just goes to show that if it is not in God's plan, then it ain't gonna happen! He just kept on trying! Okay.. onto the meaningful things..

What Balaam is doing is exercising his free will - his free will to please those who ask of him. Even though he was not an Israelite, there was a small resemblance of how Christians are supposed to be: serving those around them. But he was probably paid to do this or scared because they were going to threaten his life. Even though God told Balaam not to curse His chosen people the first time, Balaam did it again. But God exercised HIS patience and HIS grace and calmly told Balaam that it is not favorable to God's plan.. Through this, Balaam's heart changed and he was set straight by God.

How seriously do I take my freewill? I think I take it for granted sometimes.. Because I know God is a loving God and a forgiving God, sometimes I do something, without really thinking of the repercussions and I feel horrible after. I want to be more careful with the gift that God gave me.. I want to be a more responsible Christian and be more not take for granted what God so graciously gave his children..

Trying a Different Angle

I definitely relate with Balak in this passage. If I don't get what I want the first time, I try again differently the next, and again and again until I get what I want.. =) I do this with the people I interact with for sure. BUT what strikes me most after doing my QT is not what I read in this passage but from my own reflection--I don't ask God for things much. Of course my prayers shouldn't consist of just requests and no thanksgiving, but I really don't ask much of God.. I don't fully give my life and my desires up to God enough to even feel like I pester Him. Of course, I shouldn't be pestering Him like Balak does (and like I pester other people) but I want to be at that intimacy level where I can freely ask God for things and be content that He is in control. Of course, God's ways are above my own.. so I also need to be content when His mind is set, even if it's not what I want, because it is set with good reason.

I don't know if I'm making much sense. But basically, I want to have more hope. I need to pray more and have hope because He hears my prayers and know that if it's pleasing to Him, He'll answer them. Not only is our God a God that listens, but He's a God that interacts! I want to set some topics that I can consistently pray for, and I want to be able to see God moving in my life through those prayers, whether it's to tell me yes, no or to wait.

Doing what God says...

Recently, as I preach from the book of Acts...
I have determined to speak what the Bible says
about the book of Acts. It may sound very obvious but
the truth of the matter is, it's sometimes really tough
to speak the plain truth to the students, because
it is very tough for them to chew... some of which
I feel like I am hurting them.. (well .. God is)

Today, I loved the last verse that says,
"Must I not speak what the Lord has put in my mouth?"
As Christians, we tend to compromise a lot of things..
evangelism, fear of the Lord, being Christ-like...
we tend to walk away from these ideas, so that
we can fit in in both the world and church doors at the same time!

I think it's time for me, ry, all of us to re think of how serious
God's matters actually are. As I am sharing from Acts these days,
I am really touched by a phrase in Acts 1:6 when the disciples as
if Jesus will at last.. finally going to restore the Kingdom of Israel.
Jesus' answer is very plain, be only concerned with Kingdom of God..
Kingdom is Israel is for God to determine!!

I think we all have our own Kingdoms that we want to have.
Just like disciples, we want to create our best lives, our best Kingdom
with our desires put in place.
It's time for all of us to get to basics...
"Must we not do what God has laid in our hearts, what God speaks of
in the Bible?"

Let's all be enriching agents for this world..
By the way, today's See you at the pole was a great turnout !!
God took our prayers.. and kids' prayers.. we are a step
closer to high school evangelism !!

A talking donkey humbles gentile prophet

It's like Shrek... and I wonder how I would have reacted. It was probably a new thing for Balaam too, but we can't tell exactly how he felt coz he's not the one writing the story here. Why God chose a donkey to humble Balaam, I don't know - but maybe his heart was just that hard. God could have used a little girl to humble him and make him change his mind... But enter the talking donkey - and it does the magic.

I think about how I feel when I'm humbled by someone I thought were less than me. I feel very defeated and purposeless, thinking that I've tried so hard in the past to get to where I am right now, only to be bettered by someone younger or lesser experience than me. But I don't think there's any other way to learn how to deal with this more biblically than by going through it many times and prayerfully fighting to see the blessings of humility. Actually, the more I learn to lower myself, the closer I am to Jesus.. coz that's where Jesus meets me.

I thank God for the talking donkey. God had the power to change a gentile's heart and bring him to repentance, and I have no doubt that he has the power now to change this sinful heart and bring him to repentance.

A People with God's Blessing

It's definitely comforting to know that God is faithful to His promises and that He is unchanging... It's even more amazing when I think about God's unconditional love... Since I've gotten married, I've come to realize more just how great God's love really is... To love someone unconditionally can be challenging because we are human and we make mistakes all the time... we often change our minds so easily... yet God doesn't... and He loves us even when we fail Him...

I've always believed that things happen for a reason... that there is a greater purpose for the things I experience in my life... sometimes, I wonder just how specific God's plan is for my life... When I think about my future plans, I often wonder if it coincides with God's plan for me... Though I pray that God's will be done in my life... and that I be able to trust Him more in all aspects of my life, I find myself hoping for things to happen in "my" timing... I want to give up control over my life and really let Jesus be the LORD of my life... fully trusting in Him and His plan for my life...

승리의 하나님

이스라엘 백성이 가데스에서 에돔 왕에서 왕의 대로로 통과 하게 해달라고 했을때 그들은 두번이나 거절 당하고 결국 가까운 길을 놔두고 먼길로 돌아가야만 했습니다. 그러나 하나님께서는 이스라엘 백성이 에돔 왕보다 더 강한 군대를 가진 아모리 왕 시혼과 바산 왕 옥을 이기게 하십니다. 에돔 왕에게 거절을 당한 후 벌벌 떨었던 이스라엘 백성이 이제는 하나님의 능력으로 더 큰 자들을 떨게 만들었습니다.

우리도 때로는 작은 일을 성취 못했다고 해서 슬퍼 하거나 낙담할때가 많습니다. 하지만 승리의우리 주 하나님께서는 더 큰 일을 예비하고 계십니다. 우리에게 과분한 더 크나큰 일을 우리를 위해 준비하고 계시며 말씀하십니다. "두려워 말라"

내가 너와 함께 있으니 두려워 말라.
네가 감당할수 없는 일이 눈앞에 놓여있더라도 두려워 말라. 내가 너와 함께 함이니라.

날마다 주님을 의지하고 두려움없이 승리하는 삶이 되길 바랍니다.

Sing! For the Lord Provides!

A part of this Friday's QT is very similar to last Friday's. The passage tells about God's grace of how He provides for the ones He loves. From last week, He provided the priests of the Tent of Meeting with food and provisions because they were doing the work of God. This week, he is leading the Israelites through lands with water, which is very important, when they need it so bad. It seems like these QTs are sending me a continual message to rely on God because He will provide and that I don't need to worry because He has a plan for me. He has a plan for everyone and it will be revealed when it is time.

The second section of today's QT is very funny because it pertains to me! I love to sing, and the Israelites were singing in praise to God while they were walking through the lands. The first time I drove on the freeway, I sang Christian songs the whole way because I was scared. The reasons of singing in both scenarios are different, but the fact is that singing to God is a comfort, and it glorifies God so SING!!!

gg, God

God's pretty cool. I like the part where He sends venomous snakes to bite the Israelites because they were complaining. :)

Okay. Seriously, though. I felt two things when I did my QT today.
1. When we face hardship, if we seek to dedicate it to God, He gives us victory. The Israelites were attacked and captured by the Canaanites, and they probably felt really defeated and were really scared. But they promised God that if He delivered them through it, they would destroy the land completely, aka dedicate it to God. It says in the interpretation portion that the Israelites experienced "wonderful victory." :) I thought of Albany High when I read that. We are walking through unknown grounds, and we don't know if we will be "captured" like the Israelites, but if we dedicate the school to God, and if we dedicate ourselves to work towards the victory, God will grant that to us. He will carry us through it, and the school will belong to no one but God. What a wonderful victory!

2. I was also moved by Moses. Even though he knows he won't be allowed into the Promised Land with the rest of the Israelites, he still has a heart of prayer for his people. When they come to him and plead with him to pray, he prays. This is a really selfless act on his part. How often do we pray for people around us that need prayer? After Moses prays for the Israelites and against the venomous snakes, God tells Moses to make a bronze snake to cure the snake bites, and he does it. How often do we pray for people and then do something about it? Moses wasn't perfect, but he had a good heart, and he was a selfless leader. We should be like Moses~

Meribah

Moses' decision was seemingly very insignificant, but because of this God did not allow Moses to enter the Promised Land. Later on Moses would plead with God to allow him to cross the Jordan, but God would not budge. Likewise, I think the leaders' decisions carry heavy consequences later on, whether good or bad. Especially as a Bible Study teacher, there were so many times I just passed on my responsibilities lightly because I was tired or burnt out. Just as Moses did not live to see God's chosen people settle in and prosper in the Promised Land, me being selfish at the present moment will cause a negative ripple effect in the future... Though I'll learn my lessons. It's like stealing from the future for the instant gratification.

Serious Cleansing

In today's passage, I was able to see just how much people had to prepare and go through to receive forgiveness for their sins before Jesus' time, where even the priests had to watch the young cow be slaughtered before his very eyes. I wonder if I would have sinned less if I lived in those times because of all the work that had to be put into asking for forgiveness... Because of Christ's sacrifice, the process of receiving forgiveness has become so much easier for us... so easy that we often forget the price Christ had to pay... I am definitely guilty of taking forgiveness for granted... Though taking part in communion every month helps to remind me of what Christ did for me, I know it's not enough. I want to make a conscious effort to thank God everyday for His love and sacrifice and I pray that God will help me to fully understand the cost of forgiveness so that I become more aware of it in my daily life and stop taking it for granted.

To be cleansed...

The Old Testament is full of descriptions on how the people of Israelites must come before God with appropriate sacrifices to be forgiven of their sins. However, in today's verse, we get to see how the priests must also cleanse themselves before coming before God.
This goes to show how we must fight to get rid of all of our sins in our lives completely, no matter how trivial and small they seem. We must fight against each and all areas of our lives where there is sin, and bring all of them before God and ask for forgiveness.
We like to keep some to ourselves, while giving the rest up to God. I think the verse is reiterating the importance of complete surrender to God, where we are giving all of us to Him, including all of our sinful ways, so that we can be completely clean, 100% ready to be used for His works.
Imagine how much of an impact we would bring to those around us, if we are 100% effective; well, I think that's how it will be like, if we can live with His presence, getting rid of all of the sinful areas in our lives...
-dK

채워주시는 하나님

하나님께선 어떤 이유에서든지 자신을 시험하거나 의심하지 말라 하십니다.
그러나 단 한번 자신을 시험하라고 하신 말씀이 말라기 4장 10절에 나옵니다.
십일조를 통하여 내가 너희에게 복을 주나 한번 시험해보라고 말씀 하십니다.

우리가 하나님께 드리는 것은 정말 일부에 지나지 않습니다.
하나님께서 주신것 100중에 겨우 10만 돌려 드리는 것이지요.
생각해 보세요. 어느 누가 100을 빌려주고 10만 돌려 받는데 좋아할까요?

십일조를 드릴땐 "낸다"라고 하는 것보단 "돌려드린다" 혹은 "갚는다"는
표현이 맞는것 같습니다. 하나님의 은혜를 갚는것...

제 모든 삶을 드리지 못하는것을 죄송스럽게 생각하며 드리는 십일조가 되길 원합니다.
십일조가 단지 월급의 일부분이 아닌 주님을 향한 저희의 고백이 되길 소원합니다.

God the Provider, God the First

The first part of today's passage tells of Aaron's gains as he is serving the Lord in the Temple - all the food he and his family will eat. This shows that as people who are serving God, He will provide for our needs. Like we are always told, where we are short, God makes up that 20% or 80% or however much that we are missing. Like the Bible says, we should not worry what to wear or what to eat the next day, because God will provide. I think of the things that I am blessed with, the things that I have only because God gave me and I am so thankful. Most of the time we do take the things we get for granted, bought and things given to us. I need to remember that it was provided to me by God and I do not want to waste the things that I receive. I need to be more humble and as sad as it is, need to realize it is not money that gave me the things I bought, but God.

The second portion of the today's passage brings up a point that I never realized. The reason why there is an emphasis on the first born is because the first born of God, Jesus, is an important person in our lives. He is God's firstborn and he is the one who suffered for us, was sacrificed for us. It was just something that amazed me.. and something that I should think of more often..

An Awesome Privilege

We saw God choose Aaron's staff in yesterday's QT, and in today's, we see the responsibility that comes with being chosen. Right away, God tells Aaron that he and his family alone are responsible for any and all offenses, and if anyone doesn't follow God's commands, Aaron's family and all of the Levites are at risk of death. That's a really intense warning that God gives. But God also gives Aaron gifts of community and authority, not because Aaron deserves them but so that he is fully equipped to do God's work. So, not only does God give Aaron an "awesome privilege" but He gives him what he needs in order to take care of the responsibility placed on his shoulders. That's really cool of God :) He's not only this really magnificent and powerful God who can be really scary (when He needs to be), but He's also really compassionate and personal, and He wants to provide for us where we're lacking. Aaron GETS to be in the presence of a God like this.

But so do we! We are totally free to be in the presence of the same awesome and loving God. Too often do I forget about God and take my privileges for granted. I leave Him at home or at church, and all I can remember are the responsibilities of being a Christian that I forget to BE a Christian, a "little Jesus". So, instead of thinking of everything I have to do, I'm just going to do it. (That's a bold statement, but I'm really gonna try.) God doesn't have to wait until I get home, finish all my day's work and I'm all ready for bed. I can be in His presence as I walk to class, as I (try to) study, aaanyyyytime. I'm going to try to constantly be in a prayerful state this week and try to find and be in God's presence especially during the times when I'm most prone to forget Him (ie. at school). God's really cool, and we all get to be cool with Him :)

WED: Aaron's Staff

Today, is a special day to me...
pretty much, until right now.. (2:20 AM)
I've been struggling to find a path out of military
service in Korea...

I pretty much talked to all the representative that
Korean Petagon (병부청) has to offer, regarding
extention of stay for students like me...

So.. althought it took me couple of days to find out
which of the 20 different methods of filing application
was more applicable to me, I realized that
the way I talk to those representatives, and the way
I understand what the application paper meant..
gave me different results as to if I can stay in US
or not...

Well ~ I guess the one method that best applies to me
is to consider my 'residential stay' in Romania with my parents..
and to consider myself, a student to United States... while
my residency is kept in Romanis..

It kind of sounds like I've made up my own status, but
that's the last chance I have for this ..

Seeing God choose Aaron's staff, only gave me this thought..
"I hope that God will choose my staff" (application
and I hope that God will do his miracle as this is being passed
through many people that will look over and consider my stay in US..

Sometimes, life is beyond the NORM..
and that's when we need the HAND OF GOD that can
reach beyond the NORM..
Is it the sovereinty of God? or it is my effort and faith that creates
path and result in my life? I think it's both..

There is another passage that came to my mind that gives me comfort these days..
"You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips."
Psalms 21:2

What we know is that God knows and understands our heart...
There is great comfort in knowing this..
God !! You do your thing !! You best about me and my path..

Numbers 16:31-50, Purity Challenge

Two big lessons I learned from today's QT: 1) holiness is not to be taken for granted, and 2) a human prayer can change the way God acts. First, our endlessly merciful God is willing to punish these poor unfaithful Israelites by death - for unholiness. God cares a lot about our purity and it's definitely not something we should pass on lightly. We may not be punished by sudden death for our unholiness, but we still believe in the same God who did in the past. God detests sin. Second, this passage exemplifies how God's course of action can be changed by us, mere humans. Moses and Aaron, while they carried special titles, weren't above God. Moses' instruction to Aaron was in the love for his people - er, God's chosen people. In a way, God is granting his humble request to forgive them and keep them from death. (But the death of 14,700 people by God's direct punishment was probably unheard of in Israel's history until then. Even though God came short of his original intention, it was probably a big enough punishment for the rest to understand God's heart for purity.)

It's not something I can take lightly, either. I feel so unholy so many times, and my heart feels like a deep, dirty pot that hasn't been washed in weeks. I need to know and experience the deep cleansing power of Jesus' blood, that I can strive for a pure and holy life for Christ. But the one big application I drew out of this QT comes from the second lesson I learned: the power of prayer. I was very moved from the way Moses interacted with God. My application this week is to pray 15 minutes before I sleep every night. =) And my clock's hitting 11:57PM so I'm on time!

Popularity vs Righteousness

As I read the passage and the reflection in the English SENA, I couldn't help but think of the students we teach. Everyday, we are exposed to the ways of this world we live in and oftentimes we do not realize the power or influence the world has on our lives. Our students face a number of temptations in their daily lives, where the "popular" ideas are often far from the "righteous" ones. I remember having such a struggle when I was their age, making the wrong decisions just because I wanted to be popular. It was a while before I realized that I was impressing the wrong people, that I shouldn't live my life to please others around me, but to live it in way that pleases God. Even though I know this now, it is still difficult at times when my desires conflict with what's right before God. This is more difficult when I know that my relationship with God is not at its best because it is harder to hear His voice in my life. Because of this, I am motivated to spend more time with God on a daily basis, but I know that I need others to keep me accountable!

Being Extra Careful...

It seems that the Israelites never stopped giving God, Moses and Aaron trouble, during their journey out of Egypt into the land flowing with milk and honey.
Today was no exception, as a few key folks from the tribe of Levi started to rebel against Moses and Aaron, saying things like, who gave you the right to stand over us and tell us what to do. I say that sounds very similar to what we would hear, around us.
The SENA asks all of us if we have ever been in such a position, where we are spurring the congregation against the leadership of the church. I think it's easy for us to read this passage, and learn that, ah, we should always depend on God for wisdom when there is trouble in the church leadership. Or think, ah, we should follow the leader and don't be rebellious.
But what hit me was the statement in SENA that said, "you should be extra careful, especially if you are in the position of affecting other people around you, not to create any fights/divisions amongst the group..."
As one of the leaders and servants of the church, and as a RY teacher, I have been given tremendous opportunity and responsibility, to affect those around me, and I realized that I need to be "extra careful" not to cause any fights/divisions, and that a small thing I do and say, could affect others in negative ways, especially our kids in our classes... so we must watch ourselves, in all ways... all the time. Lovely. :-)