Unashamed Commitment

2 Tim 1:9-18

ack... another late entry. I seriously have commitment issues. And this passage had a pretty discouraging verse, which struck a cord with how I'm feeling about the whole commitment thing: everyone deserted Paul in Asia, says v.15. How sad. But this one guy Onesiphorus stuck to his convictions and remained committed. Apparently, Onesiphorus came to look for Paul when he was in Rome - only to find that Paul was jailed. It must have cost a lot for Onesiphorus to go searching for Paul in Roman prison - especially when Nero was going on a rampage on anything related to Christianity.

Lately I've been under a lot of stress. My growing responsibilities at work and at church are really starting to tire me out. Also, I feel a strong desire to help when I see the need, but jumping in the mess with others has just increased the burden I'm sharing with them. And going through a whole ream of legal papers to buy my first condo - and facing pressures from my parents and the rising interest rates wasn't that much of a help, either. But all through this, I realized my foundation is very shaky.

Onesiphorus didn't mind the persecution, and followed his conviction all the way - to find and encourage Paul. That actually reminds me... I have a friend who's in jail. I really want to visit him and talk to him, but I'm honestly scared to death. One time I saw a person who looked exactly like him (but wasn't him), my heart stopped and I couldn't even move. Right now, I'm not at a place where I can follow through with this plan (of visiting him)... but I can just imagine how much of a spiritual battle Onesiphorus had to endure to find Paul.

I read a verse from Proverbs today: "Go to the ant, you sluggard." But it spoke to me deeply - ironically, at a time when I'm overburdened with responsibilities. Basically right now I'm stuck in a pool of meaninglessness. All my responsibilities are meaningless unless they're prioritized... and God is glorified when I can enjoy and love serving God in my prioritized responsibilities. Onesiphorus - good job! =D A few is better than a lot when it comes to responsibilities. Mary sat with Jesus and listened, while Martha was busy trying to please him elsewhere. I want to be like Mary.