The Prisons of Our Lives

This passage records the last words of Apostle Paul and it is sad that he was not accompanied or comforted by his fellow followers. However, in his ending time he was not discouraged or bitter that his comrades left him. Even in his last days Paul did not panic and he did not bad mouth his peers even though they deserted him or he sent them away.

Can we be as calm as he his; at peace with the world when we feel abandoned or when we feel cornered? Paul was cornered by the Roman Empire, abandoned by his companions but he did not complain. Instead he relied on God and gained strength "so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it." (v. 17) He did not cower in the face of authority but stood ground with the real authority in his life: God. He did not compromise his beliefs for his own safety and was even thrown to the lions (literally or not) and survived.

Whether or not we were jailed or put on trial, we are put through trials in our Christian life and I only hope I can deal with them as calm as Paul did, and if I even had half the forgiveness, I wish i had more.

Being human, we are selfish, prideful, and vengeful. When we are in fights with others we often tend to think of ourselves - be subjective. To do what Paul did requires love, faith, and a big heart - all being able to grow within him by God.

Reading this, I am challenged to meet every trial, attack, argument and decision with the peace and calmness Paul had. He was not bitter towards Demas because he "loved the world" more.. I do not want to be bitter or make things worse. I think it is a learning experience and one day everyone is going to have to go through it.. we should just remember God's love.

Keep your distance...

In a way, the end times can be characterized by the following three traits in people:
1. People love themselves more than God
2. People love money more than anything
3. People love pleasure more than God

I think for the most part, this has been true for the past 2000 years; perhaps that's why the disciples thought that the end was near. Well, we also feel the same way; the world has fallen, and we eagerly await the day the Lord returns.
But I think the sad thing is that we are beginning to see more and more of these three traits among the so-called Christians. I think this is a really good check-point for all of us to really sit down and think, and ask "Do I see any of these traits in me?"

Do I love God more than myself? Or do I pursue my own things, my own dreams and goals, disregarding God? Do I put God second, once all my own personal needs are met?

Do I love money more than God? Does this become more of a reality as I grow older? Do I not have to worry about mortgage and eventually start saving up for college for all (3? 4?) of our kids in the future? And not to mention retirement? And isn't it about time I can get myself a decent car, after having lived with old and used cars for so long? Don't I need money for all of this? Do I give generously to God? Or do I strictly stick with the tithe at 10% and never think of the possibility of giving more?

Do I love pleasure more than God? Do I get excited over fun times and such opportunities? Or do I truly enjoy and get excited over God? Do I seek after the pleasures of this world, that may come in various different shape and forms?

I do not want to become a person that Paul says to keep away... so it's time we took another look at ourselves...

A Life Fit to Look Up to

As I read this passage and the reflection, I remembered something we had discussed in our EM Bible Study not too long ago...

Pastor DeWayne had asked us to think about a time we had not wanted to be a Christian and what we held onto as our "kernel of faith"...

When I think about my life experiences, I don't think there ever was a time that I felt directly persecuted for my faith... I remember my friends not inviting me to do things all throughout my high school years because they knew that I had to go to church on the weekends... but I never considered that to be a negative thing... I don't think I really cared for what I was "missing" out on... Even though I feel that I am pretty open about my faith and my beliefs, there hasn't been a time where others have said something to me or treated me differently because of it... Perhaps I "shelter" myself from persecution... choosing who to share with and who not to... choosing where to be open about my faith and where not to be... I should be bolder when it comes to my faith... especially when it comes to sharing with my non-Christian friends...

One of the things I have learned as a Christian is that just because I am one, doesn't mean that life is all good all the time... hence, my kernel of faith... Ever since my parents separated and divorced when I was in middle school, I have never forgotten how God showed His love to me through my closest "sisters" at church... It was amazing... all they said was "I know" and sit with open arms... and I felt as if it were God saying "I know, come find comfort in my embrace"... It has been over 10 years since that day, but I still remember it as if it were yesterday... This is what I hold on to, especially when hardships come my way... that there is comfort and peace in the presence of God... He knows everything... we just have to go to Him... How awesome is the love of God...

Sticks and Stones

Today's passage was about theological debate and arguments. Paul advises Timothy to not get involved in such debates because it not only fuels hostile relations, but it isn't necessary. He says that rather than trying to prove God and God-related topics, we should show it with our lives. This way, we can live out the truth and work on bettering our walks of faith. The time and energy we waste by putting into useless "godless" things, we could actually benefit from eternally if we invest in our relationships with God.
For me, I'd have to watch my words not so much with theological debates but with the things that I say to the people around me and about the people around me. It says that servants of God must be kind to everyone instead of quarreling. I..can't be kind to everyone. But I know that I should, so that means I must. And if I must, I will try. I've attempted several "kind campaigns" of my own -- to try to be nice to people in my actions and my words because my emotions can get ahead of me most of the time. Every time I started my "campaign" I had to quit, either because I forgot or couldn't. I want to be someone that can be nice and that can be nice without having to think about it.
I want to be the clay and the wood in the large house -- ready and willing for purification and molding :) Without such processes, I know that turning my "campaign" into a lifestyle won't be possible. Only with an intimate relationship with Christ can I even begin to learn what "kindness" and "love" are, especially in a Godly sense. It's hard because I find myself in the same dilemma over and over - the heart is willing, but the body is weak! But I want to work on that over the summer. I have hope!

Unashamed Commitment

2 Tim 1:9-18

ack... another late entry. I seriously have commitment issues. And this passage had a pretty discouraging verse, which struck a cord with how I'm feeling about the whole commitment thing: everyone deserted Paul in Asia, says v.15. How sad. But this one guy Onesiphorus stuck to his convictions and remained committed. Apparently, Onesiphorus came to look for Paul when he was in Rome - only to find that Paul was jailed. It must have cost a lot for Onesiphorus to go searching for Paul in Roman prison - especially when Nero was going on a rampage on anything related to Christianity.

Lately I've been under a lot of stress. My growing responsibilities at work and at church are really starting to tire me out. Also, I feel a strong desire to help when I see the need, but jumping in the mess with others has just increased the burden I'm sharing with them. And going through a whole ream of legal papers to buy my first condo - and facing pressures from my parents and the rising interest rates wasn't that much of a help, either. But all through this, I realized my foundation is very shaky.

Onesiphorus didn't mind the persecution, and followed his conviction all the way - to find and encourage Paul. That actually reminds me... I have a friend who's in jail. I really want to visit him and talk to him, but I'm honestly scared to death. One time I saw a person who looked exactly like him (but wasn't him), my heart stopped and I couldn't even move. Right now, I'm not at a place where I can follow through with this plan (of visiting him)... but I can just imagine how much of a spiritual battle Onesiphorus had to endure to find Paul.

I read a verse from Proverbs today: "Go to the ant, you sluggard." But it spoke to me deeply - ironically, at a time when I'm overburdened with responsibilities. Basically right now I'm stuck in a pool of meaninglessness. All my responsibilities are meaningless unless they're prioritized... and God is glorified when I can enjoy and love serving God in my prioritized responsibilities. Onesiphorus - good job! =D A few is better than a lot when it comes to responsibilities. Mary sat with Jesus and listened, while Martha was busy trying to please him elsewhere. I want to be like Mary.

(WED) Life of a Soldier

There is one verse that really speaks to me...
"No one that is a solider gets involved with civilian affairs"

I think Paul's epistles just naturally gives some kind of
challenge every verse...
We as Christians, as Soliders for Christ... must not take our
eyes off from Christ !! It's a profound statement that we hear
all the time, but so hard to fulfill ~~

The older I get, the more I think about FOCUSED life.
Also, as I am serving church with different leadership
options, I think it is so easy to loose sight of the GOAL
that is given to me. The hardest of all, is that there is actually
less accountability ( we think ) when we do things for God...
I think a lot of what our youth kids will learn is really
dependant on how serious all of us are with our calling
for our youth.

And so... "we have no business with civilians" it says ~~
doesn't mean that we should only HANG OUT with Christians,
but it is actually saying, whatever we do.. we really have to do
for Christ and His glory....

That is a big challenge ~~
I sometimes think about "how cool it would be ... " if I can actually
think about Christ all day long and how to serve Him!
I think it's a goal that all of us can have... something worthy
of our effort ~~ to live a life focused for Him.

Pass on God's Gift

The thing that stuck out to me the most in today’s passage is Verse 5 and 6. Timothy’s mother and grandmother were known for their faithfulness so it’s as if the message of the Holy Spirit and God’s gifts were passed down. In the reflection it says that we must not be scared to spread the word and make it known that we are Christians – I agree with that too.

I think it is important to instill a love for God, a fear of God, and a reverence for God into your sons and daughters [I know I don’t have any now, but when I do. :)] God in the family is very important. Yes, there will be suffering with the experience - "Will my kids like it?" "What if they are skeptical?" (That's the suffering part v. 8) I think that we have to treat them like a regular non-believer; if God wills that they come to Him, He will make it happen. But it wont hurt to still talk about it with your kids.

This also ties in with my last post in that we are supposed to be leaders (v. 7). We are not to be shy. We have power in the Holy Spirit. We must be self-disciplined and most of all we must LOVE!

This challenges me even more to be a leader. To be an exempla to others and so that I myself can feel the Holy Spirit. It challenges me, also, to not be timid and rebuke my students with Love!!! :] (jk.. sometimes..)

June 19

Today's passage was about seeing the church as a family. Paul was teaching Timothy that, as a pastor, he should look around at the body of Christ as a familial unit. He was to treat older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers and younger women as sisters. These teachings, though they were meant for the "young pastor" are meant for any one of us, especially as teachers. As small group leaders, we are, in a way, pastors to our students. They are our younger siblings, and to me, my babies! If we are to teach them and set an example for them, we are to treat them as Timothy is to treat his church - to love them as family and to lead them as older and more spiritually mature figures. In the same way, we are to treat those above us with the same love and respect, both to set an example to those younger than us and to learn from those above us. Each child of God is a "pastor" in one way or another, and we all have something to teach each other and learn from each other. I, for one, know I haven't been the best role model and best older sibling to my students, but knowing that these responsibilities that we all hold are from God is definitely humbling (and terrifying!) It's a humbling experience every time I step into my classroom and interact with my students, and it's in those moments that I know that we're teaching one another.

1 TIm. 4:12 (WED)

All of the sudden...
there is our RY Vision Verse !!!
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love,
in faith, and in purity."

It's a bit refreshing to see this verse in the context of today's
QT page.
It talks about the pursuit of godliness...
how it has value that is for the present and the eternal (v.8)

well... first of all, it's really interesting to see how that "godliness" is something
that can be explained so easily.. "something of eternal value" ...
more that that of "physical training" (v.8)

but I really wonder how many Christians of today, take this matter
really really really seriously.
One of the word that I want to hold on from this reading is in verse 15,
where it says "so that everyone may see your progress"

I started writing a journal.. a bought a very thick and a very expensive one..
in hopes that I may see the progress of holiness in my life.
It's my summer goal to be able to do that...
but what's important for me right now, is to live my life
one day at a time!! got to do best of every moment !!

Model Christian

heh heh... sorry for the late post! =P

Saturday's passage shared a short picture of the life of Paul before he came to know Christ... he described himself as "once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man"... and that he was shown "mercy because [he] acted in ignorance and unbelief"... reading this and knowing what kind of man Paul became it's amazing how God can cause a person to change so drastically...

i always wanted to have this great testimony to share with others... of how i have changed completely after meeting God... but having had grown up in the church, the change in my life didn't seem as great... however, i have learned that it is a blessing in itself... that i had learned about the Truth since i was young... and when i came to truly believe in it, the changes that occurred in my life were more personal...

last monday, i got to work and a parent called my classroom asking about summer school... over the weekend, she had received a placement letter for her son to attend summer school with a teacher that she didn't know... i had been expecting one of my co-workers to be placed in my program, but somehow she was asked to teach in an elementary school classroom... knowing the teacher assigned to my classroom... and knowing the poor relationship she had with my principal... and feeling uncomfortable having her teach my students, i decided to meet with the coordinator and ask that another teacher teach my students in the summer... well, the coordinator said that there weren't enough teachers who had signed up to teach summer school so she really couldn't do anything about it... so, i decided to teach and she gave me an application right then and there and even turned it in for me... i don't think i would have cared so much or would have volunteered to teach if i didn't love my students... and that's where i feel God has been changing me... that it's not about loving the teaching part, but really loving the students part of my job... and i didn't realize this until i saw how my decision had affected others around me... as i shared this story with my co-workers, i was surprised to hear their reactions... they commented on how my action showed character... or how thoughtful it was of me... and even my principal thanked me for it... to me, it was God at work in my life...

to be a model Christian is a challenge...
one thing i'd like to work on to become more like Christ is to be loving toward others, especially by not judging them... as i have been with a couple of co-workers at work...
i also want to dwell more in the Scriptures and get to know God more intimately and the Truth more confidently

Our Duty

Today's passage reminds me of what Pastor DeWayne said in his sermon yesterday. He said that men have the duty to be the leaders of their families - blood-related family and church family. Also, if we are teachers we also have that duty to be leaders that protect, nourish and uphold. We also have to be examples to those around us, so that in turn, those around us can be examples to others.

And in a similar way Paul describes how we should lead in the Body of Christ. 1 Timothy 3:1-10, he describes the ways male deacons (and leaders) should act. He gives guidelines of how we should act, not only in church, but in the outside world too, so that we can be examples to others. He says that males must be "the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled... not give in to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a love of money." and many more things!

We must not forget about the women! We are also leaders and examples to the other young women around us, so it is just as important for us to have morals and act with love so that they can too. Although it does not say much about women, just no to gossip, we still must uphold the teaching of Christ and share the responsibility of being teachers in our own community.

As the reflection says: Are you following these guidelines?

I find myself not really fitting the description of someone who fulfills their duty.. so I want to be the person that is there for their students and sacrifices time/money or whatever to make them feel loved, even if they already know they are. This week I am determined to talk to some of the kids in my class and see how they are doing..

Hezekiah's Wish

again.. kk.. this is Wednesday's QT ~~ ^^;;

The theme of "death" is real now, after seeing a funeral...
It was my very first funeral, and it became a real thing to
think about death and also about life.

King Hezekiah is thinking about death, death that he cannot
escape from. He is saying, "But what can I say? He has spoken to me,
and he himself has done this" (v.15)
I find some strong faith in this person. Because knowing that he will
pass away, he also gives credit to God who is sovereign over his physical body.
He is no longer fighting for life, but is now promising God that he will
"humbly walk all my years." (v.16) Furthermroe, he says "surely it was for my
benefit that I suffered such anguish." (v.17)

I know that everyone that God will use for a great purpose
will endure some kind of temptation or even close to death experience...
some kind of lesson that will humble him and allow him to praise God at
all times...

I just wonder, what my response will be when such events come about
in my life. It is only my wish, that I would be able to respond to God as
a humble person, who decides to praise God at all times...

a piece of humble pie

Sometimes we become so engrossed in our own life that we forget God. We forget God and we never thank Him for anything. Then we are sent a curve-ball in life and we have the gall to ask God, "Why?" and get mad at Him.

Through this passage we are reminded of the mistakes of men from the Old Testament not to take God's presence in our lives for granted. Sennacherib, the King of Assyria, was disturbing the peace of what God created, what he called his own. The mortal king attempted to play god, he boasted of his own achievements and said that he would bring Jerusalem deliverance.

He did now know of God's power of all the universe, that created it in 7 days. He dared to defy God and did not know of the consequences. He is then going to be hooked on the nose and dragged back to where he came from. Sounds painful.

Even though we have good times or great times in our lives, without God our lives can make a total 180 degree turn and we can become miserable. Due to our pride, our arrogance, our independence, we are in the line of fire of things that can smash our egos. We need to constantly remember it is by God that we have life, through Grace that we are saved and though God's love that we can have love - not by our own.

Awareness of God

Was I supposed to do the Fridays...??? -_-;
Well, I'm going to do one for Friday, today.

The gist of the story behind Friday's QT message is based on the king 히스기야 who was depending on Egypt for help when the king of Assyria was upon them...

I am a type of a person who doesn't really care what others think. Not in a bad way, as in, I like to think I am a very considerate person, and I usually am, but there are times when I don't really care for the opinions of the others. For instance, if I were to buy an used car that everyone else thought was a junk, but to me it was beautiful, well, I would go ahead and buy it and drive it everywhere.

But I suppose there are times when I felt, intimidated, afraid, and/or being mindful of the presence of others... perhaps there are times when I am standing as part of a praise team, or when facing new comers at church, perhaps I am more conscious of their presence, rather than being conscious/aware of God and His command to reach out to the new comers and making them feel welcome...

Time for me to actively reach out to the new comers, once again~!

Freedom

(seems like everyone's stealing my day to post!)


Today's passage put a sense of freedom in my heart. After all of the depressing passages we've been reading this week about destruction and vengeance, I felt really free reading today's passage. The wilderness will "burst" into bloom, and water will "gush forth" in that place. This kind of imagery is very encouraging during our spiritual dry spells - something I feel that I've been going through lately. We are put through trials, and we must endure, but sometimes we forget why we must endure. This very passage is the reason. We come to a point where we cannot bear it all on our own - we have "feeble hands" and "knees that give way." But at the end of this long, hard road, God will come to redeem us, to call us home. The Bible says to be strong for God will come to save us with "vengeance" and "divine retribution." The idea of God taking us home with Him reminded me of a red carpet where no beast or sorrow or uncleanliness can follow us. We get to walk across this holy, sanctified path with God as "everlasting joy" crowns our heads. How awesome :)

I want to be hopeful and rejoice because this is God's promise to us, and it can't be taken away from us.

Time Machine

...doesn't exist, so I have no excuse for missing the Tuesday QT.

BUT, I'm still gonna write the Tuesday entry. =)

Isaiah 34:1-7

QT passages from Isaiah have been kinda depressing. Israelites are so sinful (which kinda frustrates me), and Isaiah seems to be always talking about destruction. Israelites made lots of compromises along the way. They went against God's instruction and married women from the enemy nations. The Edomites, although they trace their line back to Jacob's brother Esau, were not chosen by God - God chose Jacob to be the father of twelve who'd become to roots of Israel.

God desires purity. God didn't say, "I guess I could do it through Esau too." When we become tainted with worldly sins, it'd be no different from the Israelites being overcome with lust and marrying gentile women. By making compromises and cutting corners, we're giving big chunks of our hearts away to Satan. It's like a "love bank", but in a romantic (?) relationship with... uh... Satan?!

Like what it says in the commentaries, God was angry that the Edomites were pestering God's children... to the point where they'll face a complete destruction. But at that time, Israel was also being punished for its own sins in the past. What a mess.

My life seems like a big mess too. It feels like I'm growing a small monster in me. How can I shoo it away? God knows me. God sees through me, and knows what I need. I need to start praying...

Being on God's Side

It's been a while =) this is for WEDNESDAY QT ...

So many animals on today's reading... all of which have some kind of
negative look to it.
desert own, screech wowl, ravens, hyenas, wild goast....
I think these animals speak of the destroyed land's overall condition,
Edom is no longer a place where any sign of blessings is in its land,
their spiritual condition is that of "black color"

I like the explanation page on Korean Living Life,
the author said that since Edom was the city that brought about
curse to God's plan and God's people... it will pay the cost.
In God's eyes, it is a place where they've lost purpose and any
bonding with God - a bit like Sodom and Gomorrah.
I visited New Orleans one time... and went to the downtown, where
they have "Martegra??" party... and what I saw was a real DARK city,
what they were wearing and the expression of their faces.

I guess the price being against the will of God, is darkness.
It's darkness in their own hearts, but also like Edom has turned,
it is darkness in their city as well.
My prayer is that today I will be sensitive to God's direction...
that I will direct my life away from Edom but toward promised land.

Have a great day everyone ^^

What I learned today, is that whattever we do, we need to be in t

Just Wait and See

Sorry, it has been a while since I posted.. :]

This entry was sort of a comforting one for me. It conveyed a hope that there is something better after this life. Yes, there is suffering and hardships in our world, but our reward is after the fact. An eternal life with God is what we look forward to - with no burdens of money or enemies. God made a dwelling for us in heaven and He is just waiting for us to fill it. The house is gi-normous so there are no worries of everyone fitting.

Although we have a calling now on Earth to be God's children and to be shepherds of our own kind, we have another calling after that to share the beauty of God's Kingdom in heaven, and that makes it all the more worth it to be living on Earth. All these tests, stress, and drama I am experiencing will not follow me with I am in the presence of God in eternal life..

Jerusalem endured countless hardships, wars, famines, and failures.. but God is a God that forgives and provides. Though the Christians in old Jerusalem's time may have not seen the ideal Jerusalem on Earth, they are all now in the abode God has promised.

That is what we can look forward to, also.