Jesus as King

Hello everyone ~~

It's a really nice day today here in Mill Valley ~~
If any of you want to visit my area sometime..
please just call me and I will show ya around !! ^^

Today's passage is very unique for me.
It's very intersting to look into the perspective
of Jesus: seen as a King.
Probably today's passage is one of the most vivid
picture of people actually treating him as King.

I was just surprised of a few things that I found..
First, the colt... being there where Jesus said would be
Second, that owner just let disciples take it
Third, Jesus riding something.. untrained.. (usually you break neck riding like that)
Fourth, that people actually treated him as King !!

And.. I thought.. what Jesus says later on in the passage
really makes sense! that He will even have rocks cry out for him
if we (people don't) !

But for a second there I imagined how HAPPY Jesus must have
been to see those people greet him like that ..
becuase, the other side of story... Him at the temple,
his anger BURST because PEOPLE were NOT worshipping Him
the way they should!

I just thank God for His PASSION for HIS PEOPLE !!
That he will choose to receive our praise more so than
Rocks or anything that he created.

Let's give him thanks and praise !! ^^
God is so good !!

It's soon Easter.. and passion week..
Let's think about Jesus and His cross more and more !!

The Wicked Servant

Wow. This passage totally surprised me. I didn't like the master because he seemed so demanding and even his own subjects hated him. I completely sided with the "wicked" servant because I didn't think he did anything wrong. He was afraid of the master and because of this fear, did not do anything with the money. I was really confused as to why Jesus would be telling this parable because it did not make any sense to me.

And then I read the interpretation. And though I'm positive I would never have interpreted it that way myself, it was enlightening to read. I think the cynical view I have of my relationship with God played a huge role in the way I interpreted the passage. Because I, too, feel burdened by the things I feel are required of me, I take on this negative view mentioned by the QT book. That viewpoint will influence everything that happens from that point forward. And it has. I don't know why or when I started feeling like this, but the truth is that I don't always have a good taste in my mouth when I think of my relationship with God -- whether it's because I'm not on the best terms with Him or because of some kind of burden (it's always something) that I feel I'm carrying. I need to re-evaluate where the root of this bad taste is coming from. I also really need to be more active in improving not only how I view God but how I respond.

What Will Your Response Be?

This was one of the passages we covered at the conference I went to a couple of weeks ago. The speaker than focused on Zacchaeus' response to meeting Jesus rather than the faith-action dynamic as was mentioned in the reflections for this passage.

Response. Response to what? To Jesus. To meeting Jesus. What was Zacchaeus' response? He gave half of his possessions to the poor (a lot more than the 1/5 that was required by Jewish law for charity) and paid back four times (that is, 400%) of what he may have cheated from others (way more than what was required by the law: the full restitution plus a fifth of the value = 120%). Plus, he didn't really sit and contemplate about what he's doing. It says,
All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of the 'sinner'."
But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord...

One could assume that his response was pretty immediate.

If you take the time to think about how much Zacchaeus would have after giving away all that money, you'll be surprised. No, you'll be astounded. If you take away half of his money, and take the four-times-the-cheated-amount, he basically has nothing left (assuming that he had cheated, like a lot of other tax collectors have in those days). To go from being a chief tax collector, and a wealthy one at that, to being poor and without status, is quite a change. Basically his life, like his pockets, were turned inside out.

Zacchaeus' response to meeting Jesus is something we should all 본받어. Will our lives continue unchanged, unaffected? Or will our lives be transformed by our encounter (and not just a single encounter at that, but daily encounter) with Jesus?

What will your response be?

Jesus Heals You = J.H.Y

Oopsie... sorry this is late~~ But J.H.Y are my initials. How awesome is that??!

Lk 18:31-18:43
Just within this past month I had a chance to share the gospel with two of my non-Christian friends. They didn't really say "I believe!" on the spot, but I'm thankful that they now know what the message is about. This got me thinking about the attitude of our hearts when we encounter Jesus. The blind beggar was desperate... and obviously, not being able to see must be pretty frustrating. When he shouted for Jesus, Jesus' followers told him to shut up.

One time, I was getting haircut, and the haircut ahjooma kept asking me about church and God and stuff. I was tired and I don't like talking when I'm getting haircuts, so I tried my best to show her that I don't want to talk. The whole time I was sitting there, I just kept on thinking "argh.. just cut my hair!" Couple days later I realized just what kind of terrible thing I'd done. I was no different than Jesus' followers from today's passage, who rebuked the blind beggar.

Jesus likes hungry hearts, because when hungry hearts are fed, they worship and obey (and follow). The blind beggar, upon receiving his sight, praised and followed Jesus. But what about me? Am I hungry too?

I want to make it my application to talk to (and pray for) the hungry friend I shared gospel with, but I know it'll be a very difficult application.

Our Calling

There are three main stories/things to take away from in this passage.

From the first part of the passage, it is quite obvious what we have to take away from it. Something important as this is taught many times. We have to follow God like children. Children are helpless and don't know lots of things, so they need guidance. We have to be like children in that we would look to God for guidance. We need to depend on Him like children depend on their parents: as a model for morals and as a source of love.

In the second part, the rich man asks Jesus how he can inherit eternal life, and Jesus responds that he has to give away all his possessions. Thinking in modern times, how are we going to do that? It's not that we have to give everything up, it's just that we have to have God take precedence in our lives. All the riches we accumulate in reality means nothing when we go to heaven. Yes, we do need necessities as humans, but none of those pleasures/desires should be before your relationship and what you feel for God.

The last part I don't really get.. but I feel like it is related to Luke 14:26. You don't literally have to leave or hate your family, brothers, sisters, parents, children, etc. Jesus is just emphasizing that God should be first no matter what.. no matter how much you love others.. love God first.

About prayer

Jesus describes few characteristics of prayer life for Christians:
1. We ought to pray without ceasing; be like the widow who literally "bugged" the judge.
2. God hears the humble prayers, not the self-righteous ones.

Do I give up easily when I pray? Do we give up easily when we pray as a church? I know that finding a pastor seem like an impossible task for our EM, but we ought to continue to pray to God, as one body, as one church. Have we given up praying to God? Do we pray to God as one body? As one community?
I honestly ask, how much have we prayed as one congregation, about the pastoral search? Are we simply complaining to God how He has not provided for us, yet, how much have I prayed to God?

And when we pray, do I judge others, and thankful that I am not like others, perhaps? I ought to once again check myself, and humble myself in my prayer...

I believe the time is now; it is the time to pray, not only for EM, but also for the future of RY ministry, in the coming year...

10%

Sorry... it's a bit late.. (This if Friday's QT)
I'm not used to writing on Fridays... ^^

Today's passage is about one returning to thank Jesus.
about of 10 that were healed thorugh the hand of Jesus.

And... the modern age we live in ~~
I began to think of just 10% value in this society.

10% Tithe
10% Tip.. well should be more

And I began to wonder, a different perspective.
I just thought, that because ONE came Jesus could be happy !!
If NONE showed up, it would have been aweful experience for him.

Leadening different "leadership models" these days ~~
I have noticed that only 10% of the poeople actually are the ones
that make a change in this world.

I wonder if all of us RY teachers and even the students
could be the 10% in the kingdom of God !! AMEN !!

What Time Is It?

Today's QT made me think about two things...

When I was younger, I had doubts about my salvation... and I remember feeling uneasy at nights, thinking that one day I might wake up alone in my house with the rest of my family having left in the middle of the night... but as I grew older and stronger in my faith, I became more and more reassured of my salvation, which helped to let go of those doubts I had had... now, I feel that the most challenging part of my faith is being comfortable and confident in sharing the gospel with others... so my application for this is to make a list of 5 people in my life who I wish to share the gospel with... I will pray for each of them and find opportunities to share about Jesus with them...

Secondly... I don't think I'm a materialistic person... I don't really care about what I have or what I don't have... I don't care too much about name brands, either... but what I think I cling onto in this world is my future... I have so many things I want to accomplish in my life... having a family... raising my children... growing old with my husband... having a successful career... most of the time, I find myself looking forward to my future in this world than my future with God in heaven... with that said... my second application is to spend more personal time with God so that His desires for my life become my desires... and knowing Him more and developing a closer relationship would help me look forward to my future with Him than my future on Earth...

Clever Title

(it's always hard for me to decide what to title my post..)

While I was reading this passage, I was kiiinda confused. It felt like there were a lot of random things going on, but the one thing that drew me to this passage was verse 5: "Increase our faith!" 

I love this phrase. I think that this state of mind is something I really need to adopt from the apostles. Their desire for the goodness of God is something that I really want but sometimes am too afraid to actually have. What would it look like if I really asked God for greater faith? What would be required of me? Would I be able to put forward what He requires of me? More often than not, I don't think I can give what I need to, so I don't ask. There is so much packed into that one statement. It takes a lot of faith to ask for more faith. 

Yet Jesus tells us that with faith like a mustard seed, we can uproot a mulberry tree! It's easy to get lost in the general notion that little faith is no faith at all, not compared to great faith. And it's easy for me to let that get to my head and make me feel really terrible about myself. Of course, it's not right to feel content with where I am but to always strive for more. Jesus tells me that it's not about what I can't do because of a lack of great faith but what I can do with the faith that I have. He uses the weak to lead the strong, and I have to be willing and open. But still, I don't know how ready I am to say to God, "Increase my faith!" just yet..

"Send Lazarus"

What stood out to me in today's passage was neither the life-after-death deal nor greed/money. I remembered reading this passage before and noticing the two instances when the rich man requests Abraham to send Lazarus to do something for him. "Send Lazarus". The rich man thought that, even in the afterlife, Lazarus was inferior to him. He obviously doesn't know what kind of situation he's in, since he's the one simmering in hell while the beggar is the one elevated to the side of the great patriarch.

"Send Lazarus". How do we think of ourselves with respect to nonchristians? With Christians? Do we consider ourselves as being, in any way, superior to them, thus legitimizing our condescending actions towards them? Jesus said that, in heaven, the last shall be first and the first shall be last. How much do we humble ourselves? Are we guilty of elevating ourselves with respect to those around us? Are we guilty of pride?

I am.

Financial Wisdom... = Fisdom!

so.. well, this was a very confusing QT passage to meditate on. I tried to think simple and concluded that this parable teaches financial wisdom... fisdom! Jesus is teaching fisdom as a wake-up call for Christians - to say that Christians should learn to network and gain favor of the people just like the sinful, unrepentant minds like this dishonest manager. And if our money management becomes cluttered with greed, we have to remember that God is the only master of our hearts - and that we're not trying to gain favor of the people to feed our greed. To stress this point, Jesus clarifies the contrast between the "people of this world" and "people of the light", and "God" and "money".

I'm terrible with money management, so I'll need a wife who's on top of that department. (By the way, where is she?)

We are all Prodigal..

just one random fact.. before i knew that prodigal meant i always compared it to prodigy so i though it was good.. hehe but NOPE! well.. i was half wrong..

Everyone has heard of this parable. We are either of the sons and the God is the Father. (pun intended).

This time I tried to find something new through the passage. In verses 16 and 17, there are parts that describe the younger son as wanting to "fill his stomach," and that he was "starving." I never really paid attention to those words, but I realized it means that it is only through the Father that we can become full. Even if we have monetary/material wealth, they all can be squandered quickly. No matter what, there is always going to be something missing or something in us can never be fulfilled without God. It is a miracle that the son became humble enough to realize this and go back to his father.

On the other hand there are the types who are the elder son. Even though we know God, we have to have a relationship with Him. It doesn't mean anything if we don't have a relationship with God. The elder brother did not have a meaningful relationship with his father, and he expects his father to throw a party for him? I think that is too much. God wants US to seek, wants US to ask, wants US to knock on the door. He will always be there for us and that is the most amazing part. The father did not feel bitterness toward the elder son when we complained, he was patient and kind; he still loved his son.

The father loved both his sons. With the free will that he granted his sons, and even when one son abandoned him, when one ignored him, he still showed the grace, tenderness, and true unconditional love that God offers us. What more could be better?

Helen

십자가를 지고 사는 삶

오늘 주님이 제게 주신 말씀은 누가복음 14장 27절 말씀입니다.
"누구든지 자기 십자가를 지고 나를 좇지 않는 자도 능히
나의 제자가 되지 못하리라."
너무 자주 듣는 말인데 막상 세상에서 실천하기에는
참 어려운 말인것 같습니다.
주님을 따르는 삶... 주님을 닮아가는 삶...

주님은 저희에게 저희가 가진 것을 내려놓으라고 말씀하십니다.
정말 모든것을 내려놓고 주님만을 의지할때 그분의 능력이 저희 삶에
어떻게 역사 하시는지를 볼수 있습니다. 나의 삶이 우선이 아니라
나의 삶으로 주님께 헌신해야만 진정으로 주님을 따르는
제자가 된다는 것을 알면서도 교회의 일보다는
나의 일이 우선이 되는 일이 많습니다.

주님은 저희들을 위해 주님의 목숨을 포기 하셨습니다.
저희도 나때문에 주님을 삶을 포기 하는 것이 아니라,
주님때문에 저희의 삶을 바쳐야 합니다.
주님께서 그 감당하기 힘든 십자가를 지고 오르신 것 처럼
우리도 우리의 십자가를 지고 살야야 합니다.

모든것이 다 빼앗긴 상황 속에서도 주님을
끝까지 붙들고 살았던 욥처럼, 기쁨속에서만 주님을 찬양하는 것이 아니라
어려운 삶속에서 더 기쁘게 찬양하는 제가 되길 다짐합니다.

Clear Your Head!

Today's passage talked about the Pharisees' interactions with Jesus. We see the ways that the Pharisees show their hardened hearts when Jesus is "invited" to someone's house not for a pleasant time but rather to be questioned and put into a difficult situation. The fact that the Pharisees invited him over just for this purpose alone shows the preconceived notions they held of him, like the QT book says.

What kind of preconceived notions do I hold of Jesus? Of non-believers? Those are some questions at the end of today's QT that I want to focus on. I think a lot of times, because I see Jesus doing such awesome things in other people's lives, I assume that if He's going to work in my life, He'll do it in pretty much the same way. So I when I seek Him out (which isn't often these days..) I expect to receive things other people have received, or to feel Jesus the ways others do. I focus on what I expect to experience and what I want to experience and forget to let the Holy Spirit lead and do some holy magic in my life. In a way, I try to dictate how I want God to work in me.. and that's really not how it works. When I do that, I miss the ways He really is working because my attention is elsewhere. 

What about non-believers? I don't have as easy a time answering this question.  I've actually had a lot of interaction with non-believers recently, and it's just been awesome the way God is answering my prayers as well as answering things I hadn't even thought of praying for. Many times I assume that just because they don't believe, they're all cynical, and this makes me hesitant at approaching them to talk about faith and God. This isn't true of many non-believers, as I've been learning lately. I think my heart for non-believers is growing very quickly. I honestly never thought that would happen, but I'm so glad it has.

Do Others See God in You?

Today's passage dealt with the Kingdom of God. The reflection portion asked whether we were a part of the Kingdom. The only way to be a part of the Kingdom is by living out the Kingdom in our lives. Others should be able to recognize that we are God's children, not by how we act, but by who we are.

I wonder where I am with this. I definitely see myself being a very active person, but will someone else be able to see me as a child of God? In my small group today, we studied about Stephen, the first martyr. I was asked the question, "Do others see God in you?" I don't actually know. If someone were to observe my life in a day, he would think that I might be very compartmentalized, being more "Christian" when in a Christian setting and not as much when alone. I don't think I do that on purpose, but I guess it would be obvious when one sees my prayer life. I've committed a certain time in the day to pray, but this past week I've been flaking a lot, falling asleep beforehand or just altogether forgetting. It shows how much priority prayer has in my life. But prayer in itself is the act of being in tune with God, and the more you spend time with Him, the more He "wears off" on you. And when that is the case, the answer to the question, "Do others see God in you?" will probably be (or become eventually) even a modest "yes".

Someone said this to me during the conference I was at, that we aren't human doings, but human beings. It's quite something to think about, and it's been something that's been on my mind lately. It all comes down to this:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship." (Romans 12:1)

Let's go for becoming a living testimony for the world.

Sabbath

Sorry for the boring blog title. But I'm in a bit of hurry coz I need to click "Publish Post" before it hits midnight California time. =D Korea's been good, and I've been eating some great food and having good time with family. Namdaemun just burnt down so it's kinda crazy here - and it's a really really sad thing to happen.

Today's scripture got me started thinking about the meaning of Sabbath. To me, Sundays mean responsibility. My responsibilities on Sundays drive my weekend schedule, coz I need to prepare for the class and worship. Many times I just get caught up in fulfilling my Sunday checklist. Having big responsibilities at church is burdensome, but today's passage gives a clear purpose in being burdened with these responsibilities - the purpose is to give. And I obviously will not be able to give without receiving.

I'll always know in the back of my head that I've received, and I'm receiving, God's grace - but to translate that into an act of giving can be pretty tough. Last Sunday I went to Onnuri church. As I was walking back to the subway station amongst a mass of people flowing out of the church building, an elderly woman was walking around tapping on people's shoulders and asking if she can use a cellphone. Like everyone else, I just kept my eyes fixed far far away and increased my pace when she was near. When it was my turn, I told her I don't have a phone. She said, "Everyone I asked said the same thing..."

Actually, I was borrowing my mom's cellie for that day. Soon afterwards, something was very unsettling, and I hated myself. All these churchgoing, Sabbath-keeping people ignored a simple request, in a country where everybody has a cellphone. Me... what a selfish coward.

One big lesson I learned: I always need to be prepared to give. With my big responsibilities on Sundays, I'll need to remind myself that keeping the Sabbath is not keeping a checklist - it's giving. Jesus gave by healing, when the religious leaders refused to do anything on the Sabbath days. I'm actually really embarrassed by that event from last Sunday.

Be Prepared!!!

Start: 11:57

Today's QT confused me at first.. I really didn't understand what Jesus was trying to say in this passage...

Basically what i got from this passage is that it's not easy being children of God. Everyone we know is not going to be Christians, that is why people are going to be divided. It seems like Jesus was reprimanding those who think they are oblivious to what Jesus is coming to do.. Final Judgment.
In the analysis, it says that John the Baptist was the one who paved the way for Jesus and we are now the ones to pave the say for his second coming.. that is the foremost message that i got from this QT. One of the candidates for the EM pastor said that we are like mini-ministers.. so it is up to us to fulfill the greatest commandment..

We being those who spread the word will always face rejection and therefore will be divided from a certain group of people, but what we need to realize is that we should not be discouraged and that we learn from our mistakes and try our best next time. God does not frown down upon our failure. He knows our true hearts and loves us for it, with mistakes or not.. but of course with mistakes..

Thank you!

Stay Awake!

Yesterday(!)'s QT has a simple yet powerful message... It's a story of servants who are awake, as it is uncertain when the master will return.

This is truly a story that wakes me up, certainly. Am I a wise servant who stays awake for the master's return? The passage that especially rings true to me is the one that says that the Master will entrust more unto him who is ready and prepared.

Am I relaxed and "drunk" spiritually, because I don't think the Master is returning anytime soon? The truth of the matter is that He WILL return one day, unexpected, and what are we doing? Are we living day-to-day staying awake for His return? Especially given that we are teachers with responsibility; am I taking this responsibility too lightly?

When we first fall in love, we can't help but think of that person. When I first fall in love with a new hobby, I can't help but think about that hobby. Why couldn't we live like that with God, where we don't make efforts to meet God, instead, we are continuously thinking of God, day-dream of God, and we have to make an effort to step out of that and focus on our everyday tasks?

Trust Replaces Worries

What's so amazing about the Word of God is that no matter how many times I read a passage, there's always something new that I learn from it... which happens to be the case in yesterday's passage...

Having had grown up in a single-parent home, I know how well God can provide for our very needs... with a full-time job, my mom was able to support three children from high school through college on her own... well, it definitely happened because of God being present in our household... where we didn't have to worry about our basic needs as He provided us with food, shelter and clothes... =) Because of this kind of experience, I don't think I worry much about those things...

However, now that I am married, where what I earn is not only my money, but also my husband's, finances have become of concern for me... where I can't just buy the things I want because it's not just my money I'm spending... there's another person that needs to be involved in the decision-making process... in the past few months of married life, I have seen how God is teaching us to trust in Him with our finances... and we are learning to be more generous with what we have... especially to our church and to others who are in need...

With material possessions, I don't think I was ever the type of person to get all the things I wanted... even on birthdays, I don't usually have things that I want... I mean there are times when I really want something like over Christmas, I really wanted a new laptop, but for some reason I usually talk myself out of it... I think to myself that I don't really NEED it, so I won't get it... and for the most part, this type of thinking has kept me from going on shopping sprees... hehe...

Another point of the passage made me think about what part of my life I needed to trust God more... and right now, it's really in my future plans... I've shared with you guys about my ideal plans for my career and family... but these days I've been wondering if all that planning shows real trust in God... for example, last night I was talking with Daniel ssn about our plans for a baby this year... we really want it to happen according to God's timing and His will for our lives... but what we've been doing is setting up a timeline of when we'd start trying for the baby and how ideal it would be for the baby to be born in May of next year... and I felt like we were trying to be in control over when it would happen... when I'd really like for it to happen as God wills it for us... so... we've changed our plans a bit that allows for more flexibility in the planning and gives up our control over the timing...

applications:
1. keep track of our spendings over the month and make adjustments as needed to be more selfless with our finances...
2. give up control over the future by trusting God more with my career and family plans... by being prayerful and more flexible with my "ideal" plans

Do's and Dont's

Today's (yesterday's...) QT talked about some things I mentioned in my post last week. It talks a lot about how we miss the big point when we get caught up with doing the "right" things. We forget why we're doing them in the first place and do it for the sake of doing it. While I have this happen to me many times, I think I struggle with something a little different. Last week I talked about getting caught up in "planning" to do things -- making sure I have a surefire way to make sure I stick to my commitments (which end up falling through in the end) instead of getting right into what I've committed to do.

This week, I think I've realized that I also get caught up in the "dont's" rather than the "do's".. I try to steer clear from the "bad" things, but rather than fleeing from them and finding refuge in the "good" or "right" things, I just kind of settle down in between. I've comfortably assumed that because I'm not doing the "dont's" that I'm automatically doing something right. I guess that in every sense of this issue it looks like I just can't do the "do's".

This week I will try to set aside time to "re-flect" on myself and the ways I decided to spend my life, my time and see how my life can be shaped by the "dont's" as well as the "do's".

That was really vague..sorry.

What are YOU looking at?

Today's passage was quite interesting. Although keeping our eyes from seeing impure things is important, I feel like it isn't talked about much these days. For EM, one of the speakers spoke about the tongue and the mind (which is NOT a part of the body, now that I think about it =.=a), but not about the eye.

From experience I realize that whenever I see something unhealthy for me, my self becomes like an avalanche: just one snowflake or breeze can cause the whole mountain to come crashing down. I know that, because of this, I have to be extra careful in what I see.

I've been trying to cut back on TV these days. It's not just that I'm distracted by watching TV; what I see on TV further causes me to spend so much more time looking up insignificant and unimportant things online. My mind then goes everywhere else rather than where it's supposed to be.

God calls us to live a life totally devoted to Him, or as "living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God." How I live my spiritual life not just on the inside, but out as well, depends on how close I am with God. And as with all relationships, that depends on how much time I spend with him. If I let worldly things occupy my mind, which in turn is significantly affected by what I see, then I don't leave much, or any, space for God.

I've heard Lent starts today. It's something that I've never really practiced, but I think I'm going to give up watching TV. I hope doing this will help me set aside more time for God.

...the Poor in Spirit (My Short Testimony)

Honestly, I don't think my sermon last Sunday was the most organized and it could have been better. But I wanna share my short testimony from this wonderful experience (and privilege!) of sharing God's Word with our beloved youthgroup.

Giving sermon is such a challenging experience. I put in a lot of time into the sermon outline (10 hours on Saturday!!), but the more time I spent I felt my spiritual energy draining... Isn't that weird? I thought I'd receive strength as I got deeper into the passage, but it was the other way around. I started having headaches - not too serious, but bad enough to really annoy & distract me - all this happening brought me down to my knees every couple minutes, and all I could say in my prayer was "Father I'm so weak... I need you!" Headaches continued into the morning of that Sunday and I asked JDSN for Advil - and he gave me children's medicine from the youthgroup's bookshelf. -.-;; I took 5 pills of that stuff but didn't feel any better. I tried to spend some time getting my heart ready while Meeloo's thing was going on, but a CM class stormed into the room I was praying in, so I went to join the farewell party. During the worship time I decided to pray about my headache, but just then something suddenly stirred me inside. It was as if a dam burst open and I just could not stop crying. I faced the back wall to hide my face, and as I was just standing there wailing, God revealed to me the love that He has for this youthgroup. His heart was so tender, so gentle and.. awe-some. I felt the brokenness within the singing voices behind me, and the hunger, the pain... I really cried out to God that He'll use me as His agent that day, one last time before I went up to stand at the pulpit.. er, the music stand. =)

Two kids from my class came to me after the sermon and told me the message was really touching and they cried. As I was listening to them I was really thankful to be a part of the big, loving kingdom family. Seeing their bright faces as they were sharing brought sunshine to my heart. =)

I've been struggling with some serious coughing lately and I don't know where it came from. On Saturday as I was preparing the message, I prayed that this coughing will not hinder the delivery of His message - secretly hoping that I can use preaching as an excuse to ask God to heal my throat. Coughing continued through that night, the Sunday morning, the worship time... But it was suddenly suppressed when I started speaking, and remained that way throughout the service. Isn't that amazing?

But man, the way God works is just weird sometimes. God really did answer my prayer and He did not let coughs to hinder the sermon - but my coughing came back after the service was over. So here I am, back with a fresh bag of Ricola and I'll be out to buy some cough syrup later. =/ (Why.. oh why?!!)

And... in a way, I was sorta challenged by my own sermon... haha. I always had trouble giving to others freely, whether it be gifts or donating to the poor, and I was never really at peace whenever I don't give. (The sermon was about having peace in God.) It always bothered me to see myself not trying harder to reach out to the friends around me, and that's very unsettling. And I want peace! I realized that, choosing to walk the narrow path is actually the only way we can be at peace with God.

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Anyhow, the story of Jonah and the whole city of Nineveh coming to repentance is a pretty powerful story. An entire city repenting before God at that time was an event that was just unheard of, and we can all see that God used Jonah powerfully. (But did you know that Nineveh would soon be destroyed? They became proud shortly after this great repentance... Nahum prophesies this) But Jesus, who is far greater than Jonah, was received with cold and hardened hearts in today's passage. How can that be?

Yesterday I went to Cal and had a chance to attend a lecture and discussion by Dr. Francis Collins, who claims to be the "Christian evolutionist". It was very intellectually challenging, hearing his idea of theistic evolution - and he's a genius geneticist/medical doctor/quantum physicist (a pretty prestigious guy), who loves to chill with 2nd order differential equations on his free time. While his arguments are very convincing, with diagrams of human and chimp's chromosomes and all, I started to wonder if Dr. Collins was somewhat forced to reach this conclusion of creation/evolution hybrid - being a scientist who must believe in logic and reason, and at the same time maintaining a very visible presence as a firm believer of Jesus Christ to the general public. I think he must have had to reach a compromise at some point in his search of answers.

But not to say that he's right or wrong, his lecture got me started thinking... Just how big should that "leap of faith" be? Dr. Collins mentioned that he had to make that leap of faith after seeing the limits to the answers that today's science can provide. But what if the missing fossils were all found, DNA's of all species mapped out and evolution could be explained using all known laws of the universe - would the human mind still have that hunger and desire to know God and follow Christ, to the point of death?

Regardless of how much our little minds can explain this universe, I think the prerequisite to accepting Jesus in our hearts is... to simply have open hearts. Well, most of us are not doctors or physicists (or both), but thankfully, the door is wide open for anybody to come freely and understand the gospel message. People with hardened hearts were not able to accept Jesus even when Jesus was standing right in front of them! I need to have a childlike faith in Jesus and renew that faith every morning. I want to hunger for God.

Application: to keep a lookout for opportunities to give. Especially for non-believing friends. To be unselfish with things that I think I rightfully own.

Father ...

Guess what..
I am in the library !!!
I haven't been visiting library for such a long time..
but today's the first day of school for me..
and I paid a visit here ~~ feels good..

Today's passage is about Lord's prayer,
and because it's not the typical Lord's prayer that
we pray all the time, made be think of all the details
in the passages.
Particularly, I really love how Lord's prayer starts with "Father!!"
and instead of OUR father, it's Father !!

It seems like there is more plea when "our" is omitted,
and for that reason, it feels more personal.

I was reading the little illustration page, and it had a story
of a kid playing hide-and-seek with a father.
Father promises that he would buy the child a gift if he finds him.
After the countdown is over, and about 2 min. passed,
kid realized that Father is not there anymore.
When the father showed from a tree behind, the kid
ran up to the father and said, "I thought I would never see you again!"
(not written well, but yeah.. that's how the story goes)

And the book continues to say that we need to first earn the Father,
not the gift! All the rest just follows us when we have the Father in our hearts.
I think this may be what I need to work on a little more.
Instead of "Father - look at me, I am so weak, I need your help...
I want to say "Father - here I am, embrace me!!"

My application for today is to
have a little worship time with my Father
in my room !! I'm gonna take my guitar out and
spend some time relating to Him.

진짜 이웃.

오늘의 큐티는 "진짜이웃" 이라는 제목으로, 누가복음 10장, 25절부터 42절까지의 말씀을 묵상하는 시간을 가졌다.

이 말씀은 크게 세가지로 나눌수가 있는데, 첫째는, 어떤 율법사의 질문, 곧 어떻게 해야 영생을 얻을수있을까라는 질문, 그리고는 두번째, 예수님의 답, 선한 사마리아인의 이야기, 그리고 마지막으로 마리아와 마르다의 이야기가 있었다.

이 율법사는 어렸을때부터 말씀을 읽고, 외우고, 성경책에서는 모르는게 없을만큼 지식을 가진 사람이었다. 곧, 말씀은 많이알고 신앙생활은 잘 하는것 같은 사람, 그러나 실은 예수님을 만나지 못한 사람이었다. 나는 어떤가? 혹시 이 율법사와 비슷하진 않는지? 모태신앙으로 어릴때부터 배워온 말씀이 과연 머리로만 아는 지식인지, 아니면 내 삶에 이러한 사랑이 진정 나타나는지? 나는 이웃을 진정 사랑하는지?

특히, 이 선한 사마리아인은 제사장과 레위인도 무시하고 지나친사람을 도와주면서, 우리에게도 같은 challenge를 주고있는것같다. 우리도 혹시 이런 제사장과 레위인같지는 않는지? 예수님시절에 제사장과 레위인은 요즘의 집사님, 장로님, 목사님이라고 해도 멀지는 않을것같은데, 진정 이웃을 사랑하라는 하나님말씀에 우리는 얼마나 따르고 있는지, 다시 생각하는 시간을 가졌다. 특히, 우리이웃들이 교회다니지 않는 사람들이라면, 진정 그들에게 예수님의 사랑을 보여주고 있는지, 다시한번더 생각해야할것 같다.

나의 이웃은 진정 누구일까?
우리 옆집 아저씨도 있고, 우리 밑에사는 가족. 그리고 회사동료들. 그리고 한둘 교회다니지 않는 옛 학교 친구들. 이들에게 과연, 진정한 사랑을 보여주고 있는지, 다시한번 생각해보면서, 이번 일주일은 예수님의 사랑을 조금더 실천해봐야겠다고 다시한번 다짐해본다.

이 사랑을 어떻게 실천을 할까?
조금더 밝게 웃으면서, 솔직한 "하이", 예전의 하기싫은 예의로만의 인사가 아닌 진정으로 조금이나마 예수님의 사랑을 이웃에게 보이고 싶은 마음의 "하이"? 그리고 회사동료들과도 순전한 동료뿐만아니라 더 나아가, 생각해주고, 위해줄수있고, 도와주고 싶은 마음으로 일주일을 보내고자 다짐을 한다.

Reasons to Rejoice

Saturday's QT brought upon two main points...

the first is seen through the 72 followers' response to the grandness of the authority that has been given them, that they "returned with joy and said, 'Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.'" which has made me think about what I'm doing with that great authority... sometimes I feel like there is more potential in me to do greater things for God... to be able to do things with greater confidence knowing that God is with me and working in me... however, I find myself hesitating often and doubting that strength and power can do something great through me... one thing I have realized these days is my lack of social skills in new environments... I am pretty talkative and can interact well with people I know and associate with often in places I am familiar in... however, when I'm placed in a different environment and put in a group with people I don't know well, I have a difficult time interacting with them... I would rather just sit and listen to others than to share my thoughts... this is always the case when I see newcomers at church, in the youth group as well as in the EM... I hesitate to introduce myself and just find my way to familiar faces, to my comfort zone... this hesitation also occurs with sharing the gospel with people I don't know... so... one application to this passage is to find confidence in the Lord and initiate conversations with newcomers at church...

the second point is on joy... after the 72 followers expressed WITH JOY the greatness of the authority given them, Jesus responded by saying "However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven"... how often do we rejoice for the gift of salvation? for the eternal life we've been so privileged to receive? For me, I tend to find joy in the smallest things in life as well as the big things... but most of the time it is on earthly things, things that are temporary... last night as I was talking to one of daniel ssn's co-worker's wife, I told her that I always try to think of something joyful that happened at work with my students before leaving school everyday because those moments are what motivates me for the next day... and I wonder if those moments are temporary... or life-long for my students, especially when they have achieved something that day... but I definitely do not rejoice over my salvation as often as I should... it has become something I've taken for granted... so... my second application is to focus more of me and my life on God and to rejoice in the hope of meeting Him one day

Simplicity

Hehe sorry I'm posting so late :(

Today's QT was on following Jesus. I think a lot of times, our ideas of following Jesus get really convoluted. We often make it more complicated than it has to be.

Like James and John, some of us miss the real picture because we get caught up in things that really shouldn’t taint our idea of following Jesus. They let their personal feelings get out of hand and insisted on calling “fire down from heaven to destroy” their enemies. I find myself doing similar things-—letting myself be motivated by feelings rooted in hatred.

God calls us to follow Jesus and love others by His example. It’s as simple as just living by Christ’s example. But with our evil human nature, we let things get in the way that shouldn’t.

Not only can we get confused in how we carry ourselves as we follow Jesus but also in following Jesus at all. Like the three examples given in the passage, I prioritize so many things before God, not even realizing how much I do so. The three men didn’t think they were doing anything wrong by trying to get all their own agendas finished up before giving their lives up to God. But Jesus tells them that none of that matters in comparison to following Him. It’s as simple as that.

I think that (though I feel like my post was really random and probably not connected very well) I’m getting an overall realization that I’ve been thinking too hard about my faith. I have all these agendas on my plate of when I want to finally get right with God or how I want to make sure to follow Him that I’ve forgotten to actually follow Him. I need to push aside a lot of things so that I can see the picture clearly, so I can see that the picture is clearly Jesus..and nothing else.

I guess my application is to go back to the beginning, the basics. I want to find God in the simple things and receive a child-like faith.